Updated: Jul 22, 2021
Did you know you could have a narcissist friend?
I've been in friends in the past with someone who was a narcissistic.
Narcissistic are very good at pretending to be something you want them to be in the beginning.
Then over time their true colors come through, usually after you have become attached to them in some way. When a narcissist feels like you are becoming wise to what's going on, They will come up with every reason they can for their actions to make you feel like your going crazy. I can usually spot one a mile away unless I am in a personal relationship with them. It takes me a bit longer to figure that out, especially with friendships, because love can be blind. Which is not a bad thing, because we are meant to love unconditionally. When a narcissist comes into your life, they take advantage of that unconditional love, until it no longer serves them. There is a belief that people are not born narcissists (unless its a past life lesson/karma they brought in) but that narcissistic behavior can be a coping mechanism learned in childhood from severe abuse. It is a way for some children to survive the abuse and be around their attacker. Which I can understand, BUT That does not excuse their behavior as adults. Once they become adults they have a choice to change their behavior into a healthier way of dealing with trauma. I do believe ANYONE can change and heal. ONLY if they want to, ONLY if they can face the dark and scary shadows from their past and heal. It's not our job to fix the narcissist! We can still love them and care about them and NOT be in a relationship or friendship with them. We have to make a healthier choice to face our own dark and scary shadows from our own past. Its the only way to really understand why we attract or are attracted to narcissists. Its then we can become free from the grasp they have on us. Don't let the narcissist win! Keep loving unconditionally, Trust yourself enough to know, no matter what happens you will come out a winner. Love yourself enough to let go of someone who is toxic to your life. Never let someone else's hurts change your heart. If you ARE a narcissist, Don't let your abusers win! As an adult, take responsibility for your actions and get help!!! Face and work through your pain. Know that you deserve a healthy love. Know that you can be a healthier person if you choose to! Love and Light, Crystal Le Fay