Did you know that I love to paint?
You are probably thinking,"then just paint".
You would think it would be that easy, to do something you love to do.
I have all the art supplies, in fact I keep buying more!
More paint, more brushes, more canvases.
So many fucking canvases, all different size canvases.
I have kept a blank canvas on my isle for months, actually more like years!
It calls to me every time, I walk by.
And every time without hesitation, I stop and sit on my special leopard print high heel chair, ready to paint, determined to let my Soul speak.
I hear a whisper from deep within me,"paint", but then I hear someone else's voice in my head.
A voice from someone I loved and trusted from years ago, replaying like an old recorder in my head, "your not an artist, you can't even draw a straight line, there's more important things to do with your time".
Then I feel my Soul shrink and begin to cry.
And then every time, I forget what my Soul wants to say.
But
NOT today!
Today, I listened.
Listened to my Soul.
Today, I heard her.
I remembered her message.
Today, I sat on my special leopard print high heel chair, in front of my isle.
I stared at the blank canvas in front of me, this time instead of a whisper, I heard my Soul SCREAM, "PAINT"!
Then I heard the voice from before, the voice I used to love, the voice I used to trust, his voice.
Tears began to stream down my face, burning my skin.
And in that moment, I took a deep breath, let it out and instead of listening to that old recording, I SCREAMED out loud at him, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, I AM A ARTIST AND YOU CAN NEVER TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME AGAIN"!
Then I heard my Soul laugh and I began to paint her message.
I absolutely love painting, it is a self-expression for my Soul and a very therapeutic healing thing for me to do.
It heals me; Body, Mind & Spirit.
Today with each brush stroke, I took back my power.
Finished
