Poem: Exist

Exist

THEY do exist,

THEY do exist,

Don't THEY?

Or is this just another misconceived idea?

This does not fit in here,

No matter how hard I try,

I do not fit in here,

Lost in this maze all alone,

All alone,

Loneliness creeps into my soul,

Leaving me to hunger for something whole,

Something,

That exists?

I am shattered everywhere,

Pieces broken here and there,

My strength finds me here,

It whispers in my ear,

you know,

you know,

The truth that you hide from,

you know,

you know,

Who do you run from?

Easier to hide,

All these feelings,

Locked inside,

As,

The manic takes over my brain,

Memories haunt my heart,

Don’t!

I beg,

It is not the same,

Never the same,

Because,

If,

THEY do exist,

THEY do exist,

Why,

Oh, why are THEY hiding,

Hiding from me….

I wrote this about 9 years ago, during a time I felt very alone. I was in a relationship with a narcissist sociopath, who had twisted my head so much, I thought I was going crazy. I didn't know what was real and what was made up. Come to find out everything he told me about his life was a lie.

He controlled my whole life, what I ate, who I talked to, where I went and more. When I got the courage to leave him for the 3rd time, I had to get a PPO order on him.

Then I began working on myself, so that I would never allow another man to treat me that way again.