Waiting
As I read your unexpected words I never expected to see,
your expressions of despair hurt me more
than when you said goodbye to me and the life we almost had together.
"I thought you'd wait for me",
I read those words a thousand times before I could bring myself to respond.
Whispering "What the fuck?" to myself,
with trembling hands,
I wrote back,
"Wait for you?
For how long?
I waited for you for 7 long, endless years.
Don't you know
I never stopped waiting for you?
How much more time,
do I have to wait for you to love me?
How many more times,
does my heart need to break, waiting
waiting
for you to put me first?
Your friends,
the other girls,
drugs,
your mother -
when will I be real to you?"
As I pushed send on my last broken sentence,
your response came with no words, only silence on your end.
Then I knew for sure,
you would never find your way back to me,
and my heart broke again.
I realized this was our final end,
something we could never come back from.
That was then and now another 10 years have gone by,
a decade of longing and regret.
I still miss what we could have been.
After all these years,
your kisses still haunt me.
I don't know if I will ever stop loving you.
I do know,
I will forever be left with all my unanswered questions,
Do you think of me?
Do you miss me too?
Do you remember your promises to me?
I do.
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